Why does standing up for yourself feel so hard to do nowadays?
Do we fear the repercussions as being too great or is it sometimes easier to remain quiet to avoid potential conflict? Whatever the reason, allowing people to feel comfortable disrespecting or making you feel you’re a doormat is only going to result in increased anxiety, diminish your self-esteem and generally lead to unhappiness.
I can see some nodding heads here and whilst we know this, just how easy is it in practice to be more assertive and feel confident at standing up for ourselves? Whether it be within an office or home environment, it isn’t always easy but there are a few small things we can try.
Channelling confidence through body language might be the first step. It’s all about the posture. Sitting or standing tall with your head held high gives an air of self-assurance. Amy Cuddy’s 2012 Ted Talk shares the clout of the power pose and trust me, it works!
We all treat people the way we want to be treated right? When we are hurt or humiliated it’s ok to draw the line at how people behave towards you. Everyone has limits.
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce
~Tony A. Gaskins
It doesn’t have to be a case of being rude in response, it’s an opportunity to stand up for what you deserve. Know your value.
DON’T BE AFRAID TO SAY NO
Your time is precious, it’s easy to want to offer to help everyone you can and we all have chores, family and work commitments but sometimes it’s ok to say no. It doesn’t mean you’re being selfish, it allows you to feel empowered. You’re also not going to be of use to anyone if you are exhausted from stretching yourself too thinly.
KNOW WHEN TO STOP BEING NICE
Being too nice can sometimes go against you, yeah I know sounds mad right? But it’s true, being the people pleaser can, unfortunately, opens doors for some to take advantage of you. Being too nice also means you’re afraid to rock the boat in case people think you aren’t so lovely. But remember, there’s a big difference between speaking up about something which is wrong and being a nice person.
You have enemies?
Good. That means you have stood up for something in your life
Standing up for yourself isn’t always easy but knowing when to (pick your battles!) and why it’s important makes your life so much better!